


you should stop loving fire (because you got burned)

by WhatsATerrarium



Category: The Bright Sessions (Podcast)
Genre: Casual Sex, Depression, F/M, I wrote this a month ago while having a mental breakdown, Implied/Referenced Sex, Non-Explicit Sex, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, idk man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21515989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhatsATerrarium/pseuds/WhatsATerrarium
Summary: His voice falters.  “What- What are we doing?”She doesn’t respond.She doesn’t know.
Relationships: Joan Bright/Owen Thompson | Agent Green
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	you should stop loving fire (because you got burned)

**Author's Note:**

> Found whatever this is buried in my drive and thought I’d post it. Enjoy.
> 
> Title is from "New Constellations" by Ryn Weaver.

“Hey,” He starts quietly. “I have a question.”

“Oh?” Her tone is stiff, the regret and anxiety already flooding her mind. He waits a moment before continuing, able to sense the settling discomfort.

His voice falters. “What- What are we doing?”

She doesn’t respond.

She doesn’t know.

It was a coping mechanism. When her head was spinning and her breathing was unsteady and the tears behind her eyes refused to flow, she needed to know she had something constant, and more importantly, she needed relief.

It was this or drinking, and she didn’t need another alcoholic in her family.

Hands in her hair, his skin pressed close to hers, when nothing else could make her feel alive, this could. On the days when she’d come home from work and collapse, could barely bring herself to cry, barely bring herself to eat, barely bring herself to move, she would text him.

This was her form of therapy. Him hesitating, asking if she’s sure, and her steady voice giving the illusion of stability as she reassures him.

She knows he feels bad, but he never stops coming over.

Then again, she feels bad too.

They both worry they’re taking advantage of one another. Because no matter how much he tries to justify himself, the fact that he’s doing this with her when she’s this vulnerable never sits right with him. And as much as she tells herself it’s fine, she can’t help but feel so _wrong_ when she thinks of how she’s manipulated the feelings that he’s held onto for this long.

They’re just two broken people trying for a little while to feel whole, even if it means breaking themselves further in the process.

She doesn’t respond. She just rolls over and pulls the covers higher up. He can decide for himself if he wants to stay the night or not, but she’s going to sleep. She doesn’t want to think about this anymore.

And the hard thing here is that she really does want to answer him. She doesn’t want to say she doesn’t know, or shrug the question off. She wants to answer him.

She wants to _know the answer_.

What the hell are they doing?

**Author's Note:**

> So a big reason why I don't usually leave comments is that it doesn’t feel like a conversation, it feels too definite. So, as opposed to asking you to leave comments (which I do still very much appreciate and will respond to if that’s your thing), I’m going to let you know how to contact me!
> 
> Instagram: whats_a_terrarium  
> Discord: whats_a_terrarium#0251  
> Tumblr: whats-a-terrarium  
> Twitter: whatsaterrarium
> 
> If you have any thoughts, ideas, constructive criticism, or just want to ramble, never hesitate! :)


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